When it comes down to it, caring for oneself is the critical link between how we function in our world, how we love others, how we maintain our physical well being, and how we are productive.
Caring for oneself, compassionate self care, involves many things. In my work with you I focus on the following:
- Maintaining good boundaries with others so that a) you take on the responsibilities that are yours and not someone else’s, and b) you can trust your intuition and reactions to others. This especially applies to work and intimate relationships.
- Enhancing your ability to love and express care so that you can enjoy your relationships and find the support and care you want. This means developing effective communication and conflict resolution skills. Quality of life includes meaningful and gratifying attachments within which each of us feels safe, encouraged, challenged, necessary, and joyful.
- Managing self-criticism so that you can learn from experience rather than experience shame or anger and avoid situations that cause you discomfort.
- Understanding your emotions such that, when anxious, fearful, or angry, you can soothe yourself instead becoming reactive, overwhelmed or disorganized.
- Developing body and emotional self-awareness which involves everything from paying attention to what your body is telling you (e.g. up too late at night, drinking too much coffee) to recognizing the early signs of depression so that you can actively move in a different direction.
- Experiencing self-discipline as an effective means to a meaningful end; in other words, being able to take your intentions from wishes into reality through consistent hard work; identifying the underlying fears that prevent you from accomplishing your goals.
- Asserting yourself appropriately; knowing how to speak up for yourself effectively
- Prioritizing your self-care needs; in other words, you make the decision that your diet or exercise or needs for social interaction are not pushed to the side arbitrarily.
- Managing time in order to allocate periods for self care; you can develop efficient routines that you can depend on. For example, developing and implementing an exercise program that is appropriate to your age, physical abilities, and available time.
- Developing effective work behaviors. For example, maintaining appropriate boundaries in the workplace, successful management of others, efficient work routines, and creative problem solving.
It has been my experience that people have an intuitive grasp of what I have just described, that it makes sense. And, with the necessary skills, people like you can reshape your life and care for yourself effectively.
See my articles, “Changing Behavior” and “Self Care“
